Comfort: Part I

It has been over two weeks since my brother passed away. It is amazing how, at a time of so much loss, you can see so many blessings, feel so much love, and find so much comfort. The outpouring of support, cards, letters, flowers, visits--from friends and families, was incredible. These things were our life lines. In the 5 days after Seth died, and leading up to our trip back to Oregon, I received so much support. I received a visit from all of the Young Women that I work with at church on the night before we left for Oregon, bearing flowers, chocolates, a card, and hugs. I received phone calls from friends who knew Seth, and some who just knew him from the stories I told of him to offer their condolences. Two of my very dear friends from college surprised my family and I by purchasing airline tickets, booking a hotel room and rental car, just to be there for us during the memorial service and to offer their love and support. Even in the midst of immense heartache it was gestures like these that made us realize that the love we are surrounded by far out-weighs any sadness.

I was overwhelmed by the many people that have been touched by the life of my brother and by my family's care for him over the years. It was so nice to go home and celebrate Seth's life, the irreversible impression for good that he had on all of us, and to celebrate where he is now: in heaven, surrounded by those that love him, and in a working body where he is now able to express his words, his love, and his thoughts. I can't imagine the devastating effect that the full weight of grief can have upon someone without the support of family, friends, and a knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


My wonderful and very talented friend Valerie who is a photographer, collaborated with me on the photograph above. Valerie took my original picture, see post below, and took out some of the unnecessary elements, and added some other processing techniques to refine the picture. I blew this picture up for my parents, we framed it, and this became the picture that we put up on the podium during the memorial service. This was actually the very last picture that was taken of Seth before he died, and I think this is how I would like to always remember him. I think the picture captures his pure soul perfectly, despite some of it's technical flaws. Countless people came up to my parents after the service inquiring about the picture, and while I know I took it, you, Valerie, used your artistic eye to turn this good photograph into a GREAT one. My parents cherish it and it now rests on their mantle. Thank you for your help.

So much to write about, and so many pictures. I think I am going to have to do a few entries on my trip home, so let's get started with part 1.

The night before the funeral was wonderful because we got to see my mom's sister, my favorite aunt, Aunt Rosie, and her two daughters Kristy and Katy. I have missed them so much over the years. It had been a good decade since we had seen them last, but it is amazing how when we get together that the time that we have spent apart can be so easily bridged, and we are able to pick up right where we left off, laughing and enjoying one another. I have missed them so much, and vow to NEVER let that much time pass again without seeing them. Seeing my mother with her sister is quite hilarious, they are like two peas in a pod in some ways. It is always a victorious visit if you can get both of them to laugh so hard that they turn red and look like they can't breathe. And, we did.


I didn't think to take a picture that night when we were just casually visiting, so a funeral picture will do. My Aunt Rosie is the one on the far left in the striped shirt, and then her daughter Kristy is just behind her, and then standing to the right of me (that would be your right) is my cousin Katy. You can definitely see a little family resemblance amongst all of us (all of the girls that is). My mom's two other sisters, whom I don't know very well, are standing next to my mom in the picture; my Aunt Jenny, and Aunt Julia.

The Memorial Service was nice despite my children making their presence known. Note to self: funerals are not for children. Livy had a meltdown and had to be escorted out by Jake, and Oscar at an inopportune time, and in a raised voice, asked: "Is it over yet?" I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. Oh well.

After the funeral service we were swarmed by the people of my childhood. It is strange seeing all of the different people who have been in your life all in the same place at the same time; friends,family,neighbors and teachers. I imagine that this is what heaven is like, a room full of people that have meant so much to you over the years, ready to embrace you and talk to you.

And then, there are the people who expect you to remember them, even when the last time they saw you, you were still unable to control your own bladder and wore diapers. I feel horrible for even mentioning these people, because they came out to show their love and support for my parents, but honestly some of them could really talk your ear off, and by the end of a ten minute conversation of them trying to jog your memory, you are still standing there drawing a blank. I am officially rude, but we already knew this.

After we were greeted by a sea of people, we went to a family luncheon. The food was good, and getting a chance to visit with friends and family was wonderful. There was a table of food set aside just in memory of my brother, of his favorite snacks: Some of those being: Cheetos, Costco muffins, and Twinkies. Really healthy huh?



Seth used to eat a Twinkie a day; we used to put his afternoon medicine in each of the cream circles on the bottom of the Twinkie to trick him into taking his meds. Not the healthest route, but when you can't swallow pills wouldn't you want to wash it down with sugar?


I tried to eat a Twinkie in honor of Seth, but after the first bite, which tasted suspiciously like Playdough, I could eat no more. I wish he liked a Ding-Dong better, or a Ho-Ho, I could really go for either of those right about now.

There are many things that I have clung to during the grieving process, four of them being:

FRIENDS


FOOD


LAUGHTER


FAMILY


If you are wondering where Oscar was for all of this, he was pretty much done with everything and everyone except this:



In the two days proceeding the memorial service my sister and I got to spend some quality time with:

Debra


and, Rachel!

These are my sister and my friends from college who flew in for the service. This alone lifted our spirits. I don't get to see them too often because they live in Utah, but when we get together it is FABULOUS! Yes, fellas they are single!(Wait, I don't think that there are any fellas that actually read this blog, but if you know of any fellas that are normal,single,and between the ages of 25-35, just let me know.) ;) Sorry Debra, sorry Rachie. I digress.

When we were together, we did what we have always done together, we gossiped--don't judge, laughed, posed for the camera, played games, talked, watched movies, ate, and did that over and over again. Here are some pictures:







I cannot thank you girls enough for coming out. It meant the WORLD to us, I don't think that I would have gotten through those few days without your help, your smiles, your hugs, and your laughter. I already miss you so much! You better come and visit me this summer, remember I live some place fun: San Francisco. Free room. Free food. Comes with a Chef: Jake. Free entertainment. DONE. See you soon!

Comfort: Part II coming soon....I know, you are all on the edges of your seat. ;)